In the early 90's I watched a horrible movie called The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, & Her Lover. It was a bizarre movie with a pretty sick plot. Lou had rented it, probably from Pop-in-go, because it was suppose to be avant-garde and we wanted to be "in the know" with the pop culture scene. However, the only redeeming quality-and that is so not the word for it-of having watched such a pitiful movie is being able to say that yes, I have seen that particular movie. This only comes up when the conversation has turned into "Why I was still cool after college" and people are discussing what random books, bands, and movies they were into. It was during one of those conversations that I found out my husband had also watched this gem of a film.

Last night I met my friend Sonja for dinner at The Brook. It was a great night and we spent part of the time reminiscing. Or maybe it would be lamenting. Poor Sonja. She sat through so many of my tedious stories of who I was emailing on Match.com and who emailed but I never heard from again or who had seemed normal but ended up being a total freak. She listened to my ups and downs there in her dark office lit with lamps and a string of Christmas lights in a glass urn she took from the sample room.

At The Brook we talked about how lucky we both were that we have our husbands. How both of us never thought we would be with so nice of men since our dating history did not lend itself to the type of men we both ended up marrying. She stopped being a fixer and I accepted someone that didn't need to be changed or rescued.

I grew up in the last five years. In that time my heart was broken, my parents divorced, I bought my own house, I took my daughter to kindergarten, and I found someone that I will spend my life with. I have many close friends and co workers that encouraged me along the way. After listening to another episode where I sabotage my own life, those friends had to either walk away or hang up the phone and think, when will she take my advice? Eventually I did and things are pretty great.

I did many things in my life just because they were cool at the time or seemed fun and fabulous. Everyone has. Sometimes I want to completely forget about some of those things. But other times when the conversation turns into a trip down memory lane and what a fool, freak, or how cool I was it is pretty funny to have someone that shared those times with you. Now don't go rush out to rent The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover that is one movie we don't need to have in common.